We often try to kill what we are afraid of.
This goes double to cope with our anxiety symptoms. We want to kill what we feel makes us anxious. Specifically, we want to kill that part of us that is causing all of these feelings.
Let me tell you a scary story.
There was a woman who was afraid of the monster in her closet. The closet was not in her bedroom or in the hallway, but in her mind. Whenever things that reminded him of the past happened, the monster in his closet would kick open the door and scream. The monster was hideous. He was covered in blood. The once hazel eyes were now cloudy with cataracts. The teeth were rotten and jagged. It was horrible and she hated the monster in her closet more than anything else. Every time the monster in the closet came out, she tried to kill it. The woman stabbed the monster with a butcher’s knife. The woman slaughter the monster with a bloody chainsaw. The woman gripped her hands around the monster’s neck until the vertebrae snapped off like dry twigs.
But the monster kept coming back like they always do in slasher horror movies that she grew up watching on TV. One day the woman was tired and could no longer kill the monster. She put down her knife and lay down to wait for those rotten, jagged teeth to rip her throat out and gratefully lead her into the abyss. But the rotten teeth never tore, and his blood didn’t splash the floor. Instead, the monster in the closet just stood there watching. The woman stood up and looked into the monster’s blind eyes and saw her own eyes staring at her. Because she didn’t kill or flee, she could finally see the monster clearly now. What she had thought to be a horrible old witch was actually a little girl dressed for Halloween. Like all little girls (and boys), all she really wanted was a hug and someone to tell her how awesome her costume was. The teary eyed woman knelt down and hugged the little girl and told her what an awesome costume she had and made …
… That the monster in the closet was her.
The monsters in our mind are terrifying. They scare us so much. They make us so angry. We just want to kill and run away, but we can’t get away from our minds. So we try all kinds of other ways to deal with just to stop the screaming. That’s right, for a moment. But then it always comes back stronger than ever.
What if we too stopped killing or running? How about we take a good look at the monsters in our closets and look under the costumes? We can find in our mind a little girl or a boy who just needs a hug and being told how awesome they are.
Face your fears. Kiss a monster.
Hi, I’m Phil! I am a professional anxiety and complex trauma specialist and personally a complex anxiety and trauma survivor. Everything I talk about professionally comes from my personal journey. I am the owner of Integrity Counseling LLC, LPC in Ohio, National Board Certified Counselor, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. Learn more about how to live the life you want to live. www.myintegritycounseling.com