The holidays have arrived! This time of year is usually tough, no matter how crazy the world is. What makes this season generally more difficult is that we fall into it and get caught up in the hustle and bustle. It puts us in chaos, being too stretched out, overwhelmed, dramatic, and too much noise. Where we end up neglecting, even abusing, ourselves by trying to do everything or dealing with what’s going on… This is the perfect formula for us to turn to numbness to deal with stress during the holidays. ..
When we go into numbness, we make it worse …
Stress during the holidays has to do with:
- How much there is to do. We usually have full plates and then add all the holiday chores to them.
- End of the year professionally or in our company. We have goals for projects and revenues to achieve.
- Take stock of where we are. The end of the year and the showcases of other closer witnesses are achievements or an absence.
- Manage the family dynamic. At a minimum, we must take into account the needs and preferences of family members. Most have other dramas and traumas to face with us.
- Trigger memories, expectations and any lack of awareness we may have. We have extra expenses, we have value issues, we have codependency issues and so much more.
This basic list is enough to highlight why this time is so difficult. There is so much going on practically, mentally and emotionally… I have touched on some of the practical and mental side of things in the last blog post. Today I want to focus on the emotional side to help you cope better with this intense time.
~ We can be preventative by not letting ourselves be sucked into the craziness of the season, which creates more drama, activity and overflow.
~ We can be proactive in designing our vacation and year-end experience, so that we stay grounded and cool as the season progresses.
~ We can be proactive by choosing how we want to experience the season and embodying the choice.
We can do an amazing job in all of this, and we would be way ahead of the game, but we could still have negative feelings and be triggered …
And, what usually happens is that we go into survival mode and use our usual defense mechanisms to weather the storm.
We could go into:
- Overdrive to get things done by neglecting to take care of our basic needs. We might neglect our sleep, our diet, our hydration, our exercise. What does it matter if we maintain our rich practice of self-care …
- Autopilot and follow the movements just to tick off the list, meet expectations and responsibilities, and / or just get through…
- Stop mode where we barely operate and let ourselves and others down.
Through this we try not to experience the terrible feelings that we might be experiencing, and thus we turn to behaviors and coping mechanisms of a numbing nature. These can take many forms … They don’t have to be the usual habits of drinking, taking drugs, eating and spending.
The numbing device can also take the form of: Excessive shopping, looking for deals, ending up in burrows with email offers, surfing online, spending time on social media, watching Netflix, YouTube or other entertainment platform, making fun of the pornography, cleaning, grooming, organizing, etc. You might appear to have an OCD attack. LOL
Continuing with these activities not only gives us comfort as they give us easy access to feel good hormones, but they keep our attention otherwise engaged … This means that we cannot feel our real feelings and we have no space or attention to address what creates the feelings… Moreover, when we operate in this way, we lose the motivation to seek, because we have a source of well-being although temporary and not significant . When we face numbness, we end up creating more problems for ourselves.
Numbing Coping is what zaps our joie de vivre!
When we look to numbness as a coping mechanism on a consistent basis, it becomes part of our OM. We essentially cut ourselves off, we deprive ourselves of our motivation and drive, we shut ourselves off from our internal resources, we disconnect from our Higher Self, our loved ones, and the world. We become robotic in our daily life, in fact missing our human experience …
Instead of numbing us for easier driving, how about actually manage ourselves and our life for more exquisite and meaningful conduct?
I understand that it is not easy to experience the possibility of our full range of emotions… I understand that it is not easy to feel what is happening, to learn from it and to bring the changes that we desire. I understand that it is not easy to choose and create the feelings and experience that we prefer and seek …
That doesn’t mean it’s impossible. I know it is an alien concept for some that we can actually choose how we want to feel and feel it … that we create not only with our action, but mainly with our Being … that we can be like ourselves choose … that we are humbly this powerful …
We may not be able to flip the switch and all of a sudden be the experts on it. It is not easy to break this numbing habit… But, we can commit to truly living our lives, we can start where we are, and we can get there with flying colors.
This means that you are calling on your support system for the encouragement, resources and outfit you may need. And that may mean that you get additional professional support if you are serious about cracking the code. Why take more time and struggle when you can have an expert to make your job easier?
Commit to be the owner and manager of your feelings and mood, so you don’t have to depend on numbing adaptability and can truly engage and enjoy your life to the fullest!
Start where you are:
- Identify your favorite and diverse anesthetic adaptation you are using
- Identify what numbing you are, the feelings you avoid
- Identify what is uncomfortable about these feelings, how they are familiar, what they evoke, what meaning you give to it, how you victimize yourself, how you lift up
- Identify the secondary gain of not feeling your feelings, how you maintain the status quo, how you get stuck …
Please note that this level of awareness and even exposure to yourself creates vulnerability. You might feel a bit wobbly after doing this exercise. Reward yourself for your courage and strength with natural, rechargeable and meaningful care.
This work in itself is enormous. You will feel the liberation and empowerment.
The next step is to take steps to replace the numbing coping ability with a healthy habit or behavior, and a daily routine or modified plan that is less trigger … You are now ready for your deeper work in managing this for good …
First of all. Plant a flag and start by calming current emotions and addressing immediate triggers. Then get ready to take care of your deeper work in order to make your lasting change and live the life you want …
ASSIGNMENT: Let’s keep it simple, okay?
First – Do the preventive practicalities of vacation and year-end planning to minimize stress …
Second – Take stock of how you tend to numb, commit to feeling your feelings instead, and deal with them properly (self-care practices are key) …
Third – Commit to doing a deeper job so that you don’t get so sensitive to triggers and feel good …
When you choose not to numb yourself as part of your repertoire in life, but rather to go about your life, you are actually living your life… Woot!
Commit to living a committed and meaningful life! Start this holiday season, make it your business for 2021 …
PS1 – Free monthly Thematic webinar, 11/20 at 5 p.m. ET:
Coping With The Stress Of Life And Vacation – Neutralize Your Anxiety, Really Live Your Life
-Prevention and management of drama and pain in uncertainty
-Understand and treat your triggers and their fallout
-Become a conscientious self-manager to take charge of your feelings and mood
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